{"id":1921,"date":"2022-04-05T16:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-04-05T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/?p=1921"},"modified":"2022-04-05T16:50:41","modified_gmt":"2022-04-05T16:50:41","slug":"how-to-set-and-maintain-healthy-boundaries","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/everything-else\/how-to-set-and-maintain-healthy-boundaries\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/figure>\n

If you want to live your happiest, healthiest life, you need to be able to clearly define what you need from other people, how you expect them to treat you, and what behaviors you will (and will not) tolerate\u2014and that means setting boundaries.<\/p>\n

But for many people, boundaries can prove challenging. How do you know when you need to set a boundary? What kind of boundaries do you need to set? And how can you set boundaries in a way that supports your health and well-being\u2014and then follow through on maintaining those boundaries?<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s take a look at everything you need to know about how to set and maintain healthy boundaries.<\/p>\n

What are boundaries?<\/h2>\n

First things first, before we jump into how to set and maintain healthy boundaries, let\u2019s quickly cover what, exactly, boundaries are. \u201cBoundaries are the parameters or rules we set for how we allow others to treat us,\u201d says Paula Flidermauz<\/a>, MHC-LP, a therapist at New York-based practice Empower Your Mind Therapy<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Boundaries give other people a framework for how to interact with us; it lets them know what\u2019s OK, what\u2019s not OK, and how they can navigate the relationship in a way that feels respectful of our needs.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also important to recognize what boundaries are not\u2014and that\u2019s a rejection or a way to jeopardize relationships with others. \u201cSetting boundaries does not mean we are rejecting others or keeping them out of our lives,\u201d says Ottawa-based clinical psychologist Dr. Meaghan Gallagher<\/a>. \u201cCommunicating our boundaries is an important way to teach the important people in our lives about what we need\u2014and they actually protect <\/em>our relationships.\u201d<\/p>\n

Why is setting healthy boundaries so important?<\/h2>\n

\u201cSetting healthy boundaries allows us to make and have time for ourselves and to take care of our own needs,\u201d says Fildermauz. For example, if we have clear boundaries around how much we\u2019re willing to do for other people, it ensures that we have the time and energy to take care of what we need to do for ourselves.<\/p>\n

In addition to protecting your time, having healthy boundaries can also support your mental health. <\/p>\n

\u201cMaintaining boundaries is important for our mental health because it ensures that we are respecting our own needs, limits, and our available resources,\u201d says Gallagher. \u201cWe are the only ones who have full access to our own internal experiences so it\u2019s important that we stay in tune with what\u2019s working, what\u2019s not, and what we need.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finally, when you have clear, healthy boundaries, it allows you to navigate life in a way that feels true to you<\/em>\u2014and that can help you feel better about yourself and your life.<\/p>\n

\u201cSetting healthy boundaries allows us to live our lives in alignment with our personal needs and our values,\u201d says Flidermauz. \u201cThey allow us to live authentically and with peace of mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

What are the different types of boundaries?<\/h2>\n

\u201cThere are several different types of boundaries\u2014and all are important,\u201d says clinical psychologist Dr. Bethany Cook<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Healthy boundaries you may want to set include \u201cphysical boundaries, emotional boundaries, intellectual boundaries, sexual boundaries, time boundaries, boundaries around material possessions, or financial boundaries,\u201d says Fildermauz.<\/p>\n

So, for example, one of your physical boundaries may be that you don\u2019t allow strangers to hug you or shake your hand. An emotional boundary might be that you don\u2019t tolerate name-calling. And a financial boundary might be that you don\u2019t loan anyone more than $100.<\/p>\n

Another important thing to note? \u201cBoundaries are not the same in every context,\u201d says Flidermauz. <\/p>\n

So, for example, you may have a boundary around material possessions that you don\u2019t let anyone else wear your clothing\u2014except your daughter, who you\u2019re happy to share your wardrobe with. Or you might be fine with your friends asking you personal questions, but not feel comfortable with work colleagues doing the same thing.<\/p>\n

The point is, different boundaries apply to different people in different contexts\u2014so know that it\u2019s ok if your boundaries change based on the person or situation.<\/p>\n

How to know when it\u2019s time to set a boundary<\/h2>\n

Clearly, boundaries are important. But how do you know when it\u2019s time to set one? \u201cA helpful way to think about boundaries is by identifying your own personal values, needs, and limitations and then noticing if there are ever times when you don’t honor them in exchange for pleasing another person or gaining approval,\u201d says licensed clinical social worker Alexandra Haselback, who has a private practice, Seachange Therapy<\/a>, in NYC.<\/p>\n

Another time to think about setting a boundary is if \u201cyou\u2019re noticing a twinge of resentment, feeling like you\u2019re unseen\u2026or that a relationship is feeling out of balance,\u201d says Gallagher.<\/p>\n

Or in other words, if you feel like something is off\u2014and your interactions with a particular person just aren\u2019t sitting well with you? Chances are, you need to set a boundary.<\/p>\n

\u201cTrust your gut instinct,\u201d says Gallagher. \u201cIf something isn\u2019t feeling right to you, take some time to reflect on what you need and make the time to communicate that to others.\u201d <\/p>\n

How to set healthy boundaries<\/h2>\n

There are a few steps you\u2019ll want to take when setting healthy boundaries. And the first? Defining what that looks like for you.<\/p>\n

When defining your own boundaries, ask yourself, \u201cWhat do you like or dislike?,\u201d says Flidermauz. \u201cWhat are you not willing to tolerate, and what are the compromises you\u2019re willing to make within that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Once you know what your boundaries are for yourself, it\u2019s time to share them with others.<\/p>\n

\u201cEffective boundaries are clear, are grounded in our own experience, and provide a call to action or a direct ask,\u201d says Gallagher. \u201cBe clear about what you feel, what isn\u2019t feeling right to you, and what you would like to see moving forward.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, an example of an effective boundary might be, \u201cI feel uncomfortable when you come into my room without knocking. It makes me feel like I don\u2019t have any privacy. Moving forward, I need you to knock before you enter my room\u2014and if I don\u2019t answer, please don\u2019t come in.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you want your boundary setting to be effective, it\u2019s also important to broach the subject at the right time. <\/p>\n

\u201cApproach the person you want to share your boundary with during a calm time,\u201d says Cook.<\/p>\n

So, for example, instead of trying to set a boundary in the middle of a heated argument with your partner, wait until you\u2019ve both had time to cool off. Not only will you be in a better position to share, but your partner will be in a better place to listen\u2014which can make for a much more productive conversation.<\/p>\n

What to do if people don\u2019t respect your boundaries<\/h2>\n

In a perfect world, everyone would respect every boundary that you set. But that doesn\u2019t always happen. If you find yourself in a situation where someone is ignoring or disrespecting your boundaries, you\u2019ll have to figure out the best way forward. Similar to how your boundaries may change based on the situation and person you\u2019re dealing with, how you choose to react to a boundary violation can also depend on the person and situation.<\/p>\n

For example, if a colleague violates a financial boundary and steals money from you, you may choose to immediately end the relationship (and potentially pursue legal action). On the flip side, if your sister ignores a material possession boundary and borrows a pair of shoes without asking, you may choose to remind her that she needs to ask permission before borrowing your things\u2014and then let the situation go.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re not sure how to navigate someone ignoring or disrespecting your boundaries, taking a step back from the situation can give you the time and space you need to figure out the best move for you. \u201cTaking space is a good way to assert your boundaries,\u201d says Flidermauz.<\/p>\n

The post How to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries<\/a> appeared first on Fitbit Blog<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Setting healthy boundaries can sometimes prove challenging. Here\u2019s everything you need to know about how to put them in place\u2014and maintain them.
\nThe post How to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries appeared first on Fitbit Blog.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1923,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":""},"categories":[20,1,21,22,19],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1921"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1921"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1921\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1924,"href":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1921\/revisions\/1924"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1923"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1921"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1921"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1921"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}