{"id":61413,"date":"2024-11-25T15:38:36","date_gmt":"2024-11-25T16:38:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/?p=61413"},"modified":"2024-12-09T17:04:51","modified_gmt":"2024-12-09T17:04:51","slug":"closed-paths-open-futures","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bestratefinders.com\/blog\/everything-else\/closed-paths-open-futures\/","title":{"rendered":"Closed Paths, Open Futures"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m a huge Stephen King fan.<\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve read the whole Dark Tower Series, It, The Shining, Doctor Sleep, and my favorite movie ever is based on his novella, <\/span>Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So, at the behest of multiple friends who told me it\u2019s their favorite book, I finally<\/span> \u200b<\/span>started reading <\/span>11\/22\/63<\/span><\/i>\u200b<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the head-exploding premise:<\/b><\/p>\n

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On November 22, 1963, three shots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died, and the world changed.<\/span><\/p>\n

What if you could change it back?<\/span><\/p>\n

Stephen King\u2019s heart-stoppingly dramatic new novel is about a man who travels back in time to prevent the JFK assassination\u2014a thousand page tour de force.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Like every good nerd, I\u2019ve dedicated way too much brainpower to hypothetical time-travel, the butterfly effect, and changing the past. I bet you have too.<\/span><\/p>\n

Time-travel is such an alluring idea because our brains can\u2019t help but think about \u201cthe road less traveled\u201d and \u201cwhat if I had done X instead of Y?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Which brings me to today\u2019s newsletter topic.<\/span><\/p>\n

Accepting that some paths are closed is incredibly freeing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Some Paths are Closed<\/b><\/h2>\n

My friend Tim Urban over at <\/span>\u200b<\/span>WaitButWhy.com<\/span>\u200b<\/span> put out this graph about the life choices we\u2019ve made up until today, and the branching paths open to us tomorrow:<\/span><\/p>\n

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It\u2019s really easy for our brains to hyperfocus on all the black lines in our past: the paths closed to us, the decisions we didn\u2019t make, the decisions we made and how our life often feels \u201cdetermined\u201d right now.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause of how I did this in the past, that\u2019s just how things are.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a shame I never did XYZ, now it\u2019s too late. I have so much regret!\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t deserve to be happy because of this mistake I made\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

We often forget that it\u2019s only possible to connect the dots of our life looking backward, in which we made every decision with the best information we had at the time.<\/span><\/p>\n

(If you\u2019re looking for a solid read, Matt Haig\u2019s<\/span> \u200b<\/span>The Midnight Library<\/span><\/i>\u200b<\/span><\/a> is a thought-provoking fictional story about alternate life paths and acceptance. Haig draws from a past<\/span> \u200b<\/span>decision to almost take his own life<\/span>\u200b<\/span><\/a>.)<\/span><\/p>\n

So let\u2019s talk a bit about those black lines and green possibilities.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe Some Paths ARE Closed!<\/b><\/h2>\n

I bring all of this stuff up to make two points.<\/b><\/p>\n

Author Chris Guillbeau, who heavily inspired my love of travel and influenced how I built Nerd Fitness, put out an essay recently about<\/span> \u200b<\/span>celebrating closed doors<\/span>\u200b<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all heard the stories about people who start certain careers later in life.<\/b><\/p>\n

An example would be,<\/span> \u201c<\/b>It\u2019s never too late! Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his breakthrough role in “Pulp Fiction” until age 46.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And Chris points out that sometimes\u2026it IS too late:<\/span><\/p>\n

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While these stories are inspiring, the \u201cit\u2019s not too late\u201d lesson is not universal. Sometimes it IS too late! To believe otherwise is to believe in a fantasy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Some things in life have real deadlines\u2014not all, but some.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

In other words, sometimes we often hold onto something that we know we\u2019ll eventually do \u201csome day,\u201d and maybe we are refusing to accept the reality that\u2026yeah, it IS too late.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe we keep holding onto hope that we’ll eventually run a marathon\u2026even though we hate running.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe we keep holding onto hope that we\u2019re going to write that cookbook\u2026even though we don\u2019t actually like cooking anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe we can decide that a few paths ARE closed to us. We can accept this.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Future isn’t Set in Stone either<\/b><\/h2>\n

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how<\/b> \u200b<\/span>The Past isn\u2019t Set in Stone<\/b>\u200b<\/span><\/a>, because our perception of the story changes.<\/b><\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to accept that maybe a dream we had when we were in our 20s is okay to die.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, it\u2019s equally tragic to assume that \u201cit\u2019s too late\u201d to make any changes in our future, and that it\u2019s already determined.<\/span><\/p>\n

Betrand Russel once said \u201cYou\u2019re under no obligation to be who you were five minutes ago.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As Chris says:<\/b><\/p>\n

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\u201cIt\u2019s not too late\u201d for lots of things, and that\u2019s great. But sometimes it is, and that\u2019s okay.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not too late to learn something new. It\u2019s not too late to try new things.<\/span><\/p>\n

But it might be too late for specific paths, and that’s perfectly fine.<\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, it\u2019s worth celebrating.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Letting go of certain paths, or accepting that some paths might be closed to us can clear the space to make a different decision for life moving forward.<\/b><\/p>\n

You can decide that later today to:<\/span><\/p>\n